For those of you who are still thinking about joining LOLACHE, here are a few comments about membership that were expressed in the last few days:
“I Wouldn’t think of not being a LOLACHE member,
the resources and blogs and kids forum all bless us so much.” MG
“LOLACHE membership is the best investment ever!” CF
“Yes, the Facebook HEM group is great, but there is nothing like LOLACHE membership.
I agree with CF, it is the best investment ever!” RM
“I am so glad I recently joined LOLACHE!
I have been listening to the audios and those have been very helpful to me!” HN
“I like the idea of immersing ourselves in the truth as Marilyn recently talked about.
That’s exactly how I feel about my LOLACHE membership. I feel immersed in truth.
I’ve only been a member for a week or so, and feeling so blessed.” TW
“LOLACHE membership is the best investment I have made
in 20 years of having my children home with me.” SK
“I wish I had LOLACHE membership available when my children were little.
It is well worth it!” LG
We hope you can join us soon!
Concerns
Over the last few days, I’ve been thinking about one of love’s actions. Love takes on the concerns of another and makes those concerns their own—A loving person is concerned about what their loved one is concerned about.
My husband and I recently had the opportunity to take on his parents concerns and make them our own. Tim’s mom had some surgery and we went to help with her recovery time. While we were there, we learned of one of their big concerns. Their garage doors really needed to be replaced. We could tell it was a big concern because it kept coming up in conversation, along with the expression of increasing urgency to replace them and the overwhelming difficulties that were preventing the project.
We took their concerns and made them our own. While I helped with the housework, cooking, and recovery, my husband Tim helped his dad figure out a path forward on the garage doors. After some research, they were able to get some new doors and replace them together. The project required Tim to come to fully understand the ins and outs of his dad’s concern. They had to account for all the various difficulties that made the task seem overwhelming. In order for Tim to express this action of love to his dad, he needed to both understand and come along side to help.
I’ve been thinking about you, and your children’s concerns. Do you know what concerns each one of your children? Are you familiar with the ins and outs of their concerns, so that you understand it from their perspective? Are you making those concerns your own so that you can come along side them and help?
I was standing in line at the grocery store yesterday, and I observed a mom who displayed the opposite of this action of love. She was expecting her children to take on her concerns, and they were not. She was digging in her purse, getting ready to pay, while her kids, who seemed to be about 6 and 4 years old were standing behind her with nothing in particular to do. The older child began to playfully make motions toward tickling the younger one, and the younger one in giggling response scooted away and bumped into the back of his mom’s legs. The mom responded to this unexpected bump by angrily and harshly rebuking the younger child. The child tried to explain that the other one was tickling him, but his concern went unheard. The mom decided they must need something to do, and so she handed the older child something to hold for her. The younger child suddenly had a new concern. He wanted to hold it too. In his immaturity, he expressed his concerns by patting his mom to get her attention and begging to get to hold what his sibling had. His mom responded in her escalating anger with another harsher rebuke. Her little one was disrupting what she was trying to do. He was not taking on her concerns the way she wanted him to. This relational exchange took only moments to unfold.
How about you? Are you expecting your children to take on your concerns? Are you becoming irritated or harsh and angry because they don’t have the relational or mental maturity to see what you’re trying to accomplish and either help or at least stay out of your way? Or are you taking on your children’s concerns and making them your own? Are you coming to understand the ins and outs of their concerns so that you can help them?
As this season unfolds, I want to encourage you, Dear Mom, to shower your children with love, by taking on their concerns and making them your own. Come to know their concerns by observing them and listening to them. Come to understand their concerns by learning the ins and outs and seeing it from their perspective. Come along side to help them in their concerns.
Taking on your children’s concerns may take just a moment. For instance, the mom in the store could have gotten down at her children’s eye level and gently explained why this isn’t the right time and place to tickle and play. She could have followed her instruction up with a smile and a kiss. Or taking on their concerns can take hours, days, or even weeks. For instance, my husband’s project with his dad took nearly a week to progress from discovering his need to figuring out what to do, to helping him do it.
I pray for you, dear moms, that the Lord will open your eyes to your precious children’s concerns, and give you wisdom for making those concerns your own.