Something’s Missing

[from the archives]

We’re camping on the Oregon Coast. It’s so beautiful out here! The waves are crashing on the rocks, and making huge powerful splashes. The trees are so interesting as they’ve been mis-shapen throughout their formation by the constant wind. We’re enjoying our new-to-us trailer and the bubbling of the little stream running past our campsite.

But something is missing. That’s my reoccurring thought. I said it to the kids over dinner last night. “Something is missing.”

They all began to giggle and think of the things we’ve forgotten on this particular camping trip. “It’s the sharp kitchen knives!”, “No, it’s the dish towels.” “It’s my swimming shirt.”

I was thinking of something else though. I was thinking of the things that are missing from this ten-day adventure with four teen-agers, one almost teen-ager, two middle-aged parents, and a dog in this tiny little trailer.  Summed up, what’s missing is bad attitudes, and self-seeking motivations.  I’m so glad we left them behind, not just from this camping trip, but from our relationships altogether.

Living within the trailer, we are constantly in each other’s way. If I need to head toward the back of the trailer, one or two or more of us have to move toward the front of the trailer. Only four of us can sit at the little table at once, so breakfast must come in shifts. At night, when it’s time to get ready for bed, the real shifteroo begins. As we take turns at the sink to brush our teeth, out come the suitcases and the sleeping bags from their storage place on our bed. Space becomes even more limited. Soon the air mattress fills all the walking space within the trailer, the “Excuse me, can we trade places?, Can I go over there? Please hand me that” gets even more necessary.

Patient good-natured waiting and gentle speaking reign as we slowly work our way through our daily routines in our small space. Everything takes longer.

I’m so glad we don’t have to experience the irritated voices, and emotional lashings that come from taking up offense when selfishness leads individuals to believe their own rights are being trampled on. We don’t suffer under the careful avoidance of making sure certain individuals don’t get upset because they are more testy than others. Long gone are the days of one or two sulking in self-focused silence throughout the days because they’re not having fun, and they want to make sure everyone knows it. No one is just biding their time waiting to get away from siblings to something they feel is much more worthwhile.

Yes, something’s missing, and in it’s place we have lots of laughter, and simple times enjoying each other’s company. How did it get this way? It started when I recognized the self-seeking motivations of my own heart, saw how these came through in my relational habits, and repented. This in turn produced in me the ability not only to see the self-seeking motivations in the hearts of my children and husband, but to know how to lead them out of it. Holy Spirit inspired careful and constant attention to the attitudes, intentions and motivations of our hearts in the way we relate to one another, combined with my example, encouragement and love as I obey the Lord have brought us to this restful, pleasant time.

[originally posted August 2010]