Julie had broken trust with her daughter concerning academic expectations, but as Julie learned how to love her with Christlike love, her daughter came to embrace and enjoy the writing disciplines that she had resisted for years. Educating her daughter became easier and very efficient because of love.
Julie’s Story of academic breakthroughs because of love
“It has been an amazing and wonderful transformation as we have implemented the Lord’s ways and sought to foster an individualized, whole person education for our children. I am still dumbfounded that my now 17-yr-old daughter writes prolifically and speaks of getting published. This is so shocking because I could not get her to produce so much as a paragraph without a process like pulling teeth as late as 13-14 years old!
My poor little girl! Because I was not relating rightly with her and because of her perfectionism, writing soon evolved into a great struggle. Even when I was really trying to be encouraging and correct lovingly, she saw any editing on my part or suggestion toward making it better as criticism and she rose up against me mightily. She resisted any writing assignment at all with angry outbursts and excuses to delay it until I gave up. It was so emotional and difficult I began to avoid writing instruction with her, and I felt very guilty about that!
It was around the time she was 13-14 that I was looking into Lifestyle of Learning™, I was drawn to it because of it’s messages about restoring relationships. I was very concerned about my relationship with my daughter while a friend of mine was having her family relationships transformed through the Lifestyle of Learning™ ministry. At the time I was only interested in ‘fixing’ my relationships, so I thought I could kind of add Lifestyle of Learning™ educational principles to the side of my already established idea of what makes a good education.
As I began to learn how to obey the Lord in my relationship with my daughter, He directed me to let go of formal academics for a time while I concentrated on transforming our relationship through learning how to truly love her. I encouraged productive activity by requiring her to pursue her interests during the hours in which we were no longer doing schoolwork.
During this spare time she began writing at the computer. She kept her writing strictly private at first, because she didn’t trust me. She was afraid, because of her past experience with me, that I would take it over. I was positive and encouraging as I peeked in on what she was doing. I did not press for more information than she wished to give about content.
One day, I found a page by the printer when I was sorting papers, and believing it to be a favorite passage from a book she had typed out, I asked what book it was from. To my surprise, she told me it was one of hers! I was impressed with the story and told her so. She looked so happy and from that point on she began to open up and share with me.
When I began loving her and allowing her delights to emerge, and I stopped squelching them by trying to take them over and make them schoolish, she exploded with inner drive to improve and educate herself! Hee hee!—I still laugh for joy over this! I have been shown by this example, as well as MANY others, that the Lifestyle of Learning™ Approach to home education is FAR superior to any curriculum I have ever seen and tried or even could have wished for my children!” ~ Julie M
Have Your Academic Expectations Broken Trust with Your Children?
I have witnessed so many moms experience broken trust with their children. Kids don’t want to do their irrelevant assignments, or they hide out in their own thoughts and activities not wanting mom to see for fear she will swoop in and mess with it. Moms think it’s because there’s something wrong with their kids, but in actuality, learning processes are supposed to be relational, and the way moms go about causing their children’s education often removes the relational dimension from the process. Kids don’t feel understood, and they don’t feel known and loved. They want and need this daily ministry to their souls more than anything, but it begins with mom.
As Julie learned how to love, by first engaging with her daughter right where she was at in her abilities and interests, and allowing her to experiment with her own writing process, God gave her wisdom for placing appropriate expectations on her academic performance. He wants to give you wisdom too.
I love how her story turned out, and I want you to enter a similar process of allowing God to gently lead you in how to engage your children in their academic activities so you can enjoy “the peaceable fruit of righteousness” with your children.That’s why we’ve created the Love’s Actions Seminars, given by Barbie Poling.
These 13 1-hour seminars are a great practical accompaniment to my book, Empowering the Transfer of Moral Values and Faith and it’s companion, Love’s Actions. Hurry while you still have time to get these seminars at really good prices!
If you haven’t gotten our complimentary audios discussing the content of the Love’s Actions Seminars, you can access them by signing up below.
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