[from the archives]
This afternoon I walked into the chiropractor office with Lizzy and Josiah. An elderly man was sitting in the waiting room, and as my eyes fell in his direction he began speaking to me. “Just wait till those get to be teen-agers,” as he pointed to Lizzy and Josiah. “They’ll drive you CRAZY!!”
I began to explain that I already had teenagers, but he cut my speech off by declaring that he had four daughters and one son, and they drove him CRAZY!
I went on to explain that I had more children older than these that were already teen-agers and they are such a blessing to me. “I love having a house full of teenagers!”
He acted like he hadn’t heard me and went on to declare that his children are all senior citizens in their sixties, and all they do is tell him what to do. He said they’re still driving him crazy. Then he said that he had grand-children and great-grand-children that he doesn’t even know and whom he’s never met, implying that they would drive him crazy too. He spoke as though I should obviously agree with him that children drive parents crazy, and that’s just the way it is.
I was sad for that man. I think there’s nothing more sad than hearing about parents with teen or grown children who suffer with broken and distant relationships. The children no longer want their parent’s influence or they don’t want to live close by or they willingly marry someone who brings division in the family, severing relationships. It’s heartbreaking.
I came away feeling so grateful that as my children grow into their teen years, and it won’t be long before my first enter into their twenties, they are only growing closer to me, closer to God, and closer to each other. I have their hearts and the trajectory for the future places them in my life, eagerly desiring my counsel, influence, and presence.
I went on to enjoy the rest of my day surrounded by my batch of teenagers. We were celebrating. Phillip passed his pre-calculus assessment and then he drove on the freeway for the first time, and Josiah’s weight reached 100 lbs. so that he can sit in the front seat of the van! That’s reason to celebrate!
The laughing talking and enjoying each other through our errands and celebration was non-stop. On the way home I suggested that someone have a bad attitude so that I would have something to write about on my blog. They didn’t buy into that suggestion, it only produced more enjoyment and laughter. I love being mom to my kiddos!
You can learn more about heart-level parenting in Marilyn Howshall’s book, Empowering the Transfer of Moral Values and Faith.
[originally posted August 2010]
Hi Barbie,
I had a somewhat similar experience a couple of weeks ago at the x-ray lab. On the way out the assistant told me how wonderful my girls are (I had Tiana and Alina with me) and that she couldn’t believe how content they were to sit and read while they waited for me… and one was reading “Readers Digest” of all things… she thought that was unbelievable. As I collected the girls to leave, a grandfather commented on how wonderful my children are, but then continued with telling me how awful they must be at home. I told him, that wasn’t the case and then continued to tell me how hard his 13 year old grandson was to be around and that he was sure my kids were the same. I soon realized he was more interested in telling me how horrible his grandson was and wasn’t interested in any other possibility. That day I also gave thanks that I am able to enjoy my children, and still knowing that we are a work in progress.
Thank you for sharing Barbie… your blog posts are opening up for me ways to deal in areas that I have been feeling blocked. You and your family are a wonderful blessing!