Working so closely in another’s life is not at all fun. Every moment challenged my weakened physical condition. I?had become quite hi-maintenance, and just being around people and in other people’s environments was physically stressful, setting me back every time. And I never knew when one of them would flesh out at me with fault-finding. I knew they were really only self-projecting their baggage on me and others, but it took them awhile to know that too. People can only think of others based upon what is operating within them. If God’s love and grace, then they will give the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to conclusions and forming judgments.
I?continued to love and help as the Lord showed me to involve myself. And it wasn’t as if I?was always “in their personal lives.” Each one of them would tell you that I really wasn’t very much at all, because only the unteachable demand such attention. However, when a person is teachable, their primary relational stronghold—being the thing they can’t see—is also the thing that others encounter the most in their relating habits and patterns, which influences just about every other relating habit and pattern. It’s like the head of a monster octopus with its tentacles reaching into every area of life, grasping for whatever it can get. The behavior shows up everywhere, and when the main thing comes down—as in the head being crushed—the rest of it dies too. One or two private truth-telling episodes goes a long way to breaking through a lot of relational baggage and sending them on their own path with the Lord.
Because the topics of discussion would revolve around their insights about their false personalities and fleshly battles, I couldn’t wait until we could move on to more inspiring topics. While we gathered weekly on Friday nights for about two years, the process of coming to see, tell the truth, act on the truth, and turn things around and become established on a healthy path of spiritual growth took about six months. I?think this is a very long time for life-long, serious church-going Christians who also had ministry backgrounds. The lost are sometimes easier to reach than these, not having layers of religiousness to unravel. One reason I think it took so long was for the first three months we had to allow pride to have its own way. Partly it was due to the fact that I was not well, struggling to connect at the most basic level.
Everyone’s growth pace varied, but once getting it, they continued to hone the truths they were understanding and applying to their lives with much fruitfulness. They learned to have fun in their truth-telling, many times poking fun at me and each other. On one occasion, one of the husbands surprised us by showing up wearing a fishing hat with a paper sign attached to the front that said “truth-telling 101.” While it was a hard season, it was also light-hearted and fun as well. Deep Christian bonds were forming in our small fledgling community.
(continued in part eight)