Discipline at the Heart-Level

A few weeks back we were talking about purpose and discipline in our local pilot Seven Seasons to LYFE (Liberate Your Family’s Education) program.

I’ve been thinking about discipline and purpose. Purpose is what motivates us toward discipline. For instance, if I want to stay in bed in the morning, but I also want to be a good mom and meet the needs of my children, then the higher desire of caring for my children will lead me to choose getting up and caring for my children over my desire to stay in bed. Purpose, in this instance being a good mom, is a higher desire that motivates me to overcome other conflicting desires, like staying in bed, that I might have. Whenever we have a lack of discipline in our lives, it is because we have a lack of purpose—lack of a higher desire—that will motivate us toward doing things we are not drawn to do, or that conflict with other things we’d rather do.

I’ve been remembering the different areas of my life that were and were not disciplined when I was first introduced to the Lifestyle of Learning message.

I had been leading several different church groups such as homeschool associations and various different worship teams as well as Sunday school teaching teams. In this area of my life, I was outwardly disciplined and organized. I made contacts and preparations on time and in an orderly way.  My equipment and paperwork was organized and orderly. Many people relied on me to provide what they needed to accomplish their on-going tasks and they relied on me to keep them organized and moving forward. I approached the activities of running meetings and rehearsals with discipline and order. I was on time, responsible and dependable.

On the other hand, at home I was undisciplined toward many outward aspects of being a wife and mom. I had never learned to put things away after myself, and I was unable to keep track of time. This resulted in many huge and overwhelming messes, undone chores like laundry and dishes, late or ill-prepared meals, and wasted food created by lack of planning. I was constantly losing things like important papers or the car keys. I wasted a great deal of time searching for these things and I procrastinated toward things that needed to be done. I was training my children how to do all of these undisciplined things as well. All of this produced a great deal of frustration for my husband to which he responded toward me in anger.

I was often upset with myself for being so undisciplined, since I believed my husband would be happier with me and more approving if I could just manage to be more disciplined and orderly at home.

If you had asked me about purpose at the time, I would have told you that I had purpose outside of myself in all the church activity I was involved in. Others would have said the same about me. “She’s such a servant.” It appeared on the surface as though I was living my life for others, as though I was fulfilling some aspect of life purpose.

In reality, my apparent outward discipline toward my church activities contributed to my lack of discipline toward my home life. I often neglected the duties and responsibilities of my home in order to meet the demands of my responsibilities at church. I also neglected the needs of my children and husband in order to keep my image of being responsible and dependable at church.  I had a higher desire in my church activity, and it was for my mistaken idea of what God wanted me to be doing with my life. This misplaced effort led me to be outwardly disciplined toward my church activity, but neglectful toward the needs of my family and my home.

Through the ministry of Marilyn Howshall in my life, and my subsequent reconciled relationship with the Lord, (see Beginnings) I came to see that all of my activities both outwardly disciplined and undisciplined were sponsored by wrong thinking and selfish attitudes and motivations of my heart.

As I began to repent and embrace God’s ways of love, the Lord showed me that His purposes were toward reconciliation beginning with my own family (see Ministry of Reconciliation). I was mistaken in believing that His purposes were toward church attendance and church activity. The highest desire we can have is to embrace God’s ways of love in our lives, and His purposes for us.

In reality I was undisciplined in my heart in both areas of my life, even though I appeared to be disciplined toward my church activities. My outward discipline in my church activities was for my own image and self-centered gain and therefore it wasn’t heart-level discipline that lined up with God’s ways of love and right relating.

Are you struggling with discipline in an area of your life? You need a higher desire for God’s ways of love and right relating. Do you think of yourself as a disciplined person, and yet the activity of your mind, or your heart and the way you treat your family is undisciplined?  You need a higher desire for God’s ways of Love and right relating beginning with your family. When we begin to cooperate with God toward learning to love our family and obeying our conscience, we enter into His purposes for us as the apostle Paul spoke of here:

“Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men.” ~ Acts 24:16

In order to be disciplined in our hearts, we have to die to our self-pleasing ways as Jesus did:

”I am able to do nothing from Myself [independently, of My own accord–but only as I am taught by God and as I get His orders]. ….because I do not seek or consult My own will [I have no desire to do what is pleasing to Myself, My own aim, My own purpose] but only the will and pleasure of the Father Who sent Me.”  ~ John 5:30

We need to make LOVE our highest desire as stated in 1 Cor 14:1:

“EAGERLY PURSUE and seek to acquire [this] love [make it your aim, your great quest]…..” This verse is referring to the love described in 1 Cor 13.

What’s your highest desire?

related post:  “Available to Be Parented”